Post by Onlyme on Jan 8, 2008 9:12:20 GMT -5
>>>>>
>>>>
>>>The Guys' Rules
>>>At least a guy has taken the time to write this all down
>>>
>>>>
>>>>> Finally, the guys' side of the story.
>>> (I must admit, it's pretty good.)
>>> We always hear "the rules"
>>> From the female side.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>> Now here are the rules from the male side.
>>> These are our rules!
>>> Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
>>> ON PURPOSE!
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> 1. Men are NOT mind readers.
>>>
>>> 1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
>>> You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
>>> We need it up, you need it down.
>>> You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
>>>
>>> 1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
>>> or the changing of the tides.
>>> Let it be.
>>>
>>> 1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
>>> And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
>>>
>>> 1. Crying is blackmail.
>>>
>>> 1. Ask for what you want.
>>> Let us be clear on this one:
>>> Subtle hints do not work!
>>> Strong hints do not work!
>>> Obvious hints do not work!
>>> Just say it!
>>>
>>> 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost >>> every question.
>>>
>>> 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
>>> That's what we do.
>>> Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
>>>
>>> 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.
>>> See a doctor.
>>>
>>>
>>> 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an
>>> argument.
>>> In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
>>>
>>> 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't >>> Expect
>>> us to act like soap opera guys.
>>>
>>> 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
>>> Don't ask us.
>>>
>>> 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and >>> one of the
>>> ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
>>>
>>> 1. You can either ask us to do something
>>> Or tell us how you want it done.
>>> Not both.
>>> If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
>>>
>>> 1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say >>> during commercials.
>>>
>>>
>>> 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and
>>> neither do we.
>>>
>>> 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default
>>> settings.
>>> Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a >>> fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
>>>
>>> 1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
>>> We do that.
>>>
>>> 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will >>> act like
>>> nothing's wrong.
>>> We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
>>>
>>> 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
>>> Expect an
>>> answer you don't want to hear.
>>>
>>> 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything >>> you wear is
>>> fine...Really.
>>>
>>> 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are >>> prepared to
>>> discuss such topics as sports, cars,
>>> or, sex.
>>>
>>> 1. You have enough clothes.
>>>
>>> 1. You have too many shoes.
>>>
>>> 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
>>>
>>> 1. Thank you for reading this.
>>> Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
>>>>>
>>>> But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like
>>>> camping.
>>>
>>> Pass this to as many men as you can -
>>> to give them a laugh.
>>>
>>> Pass this to as many women as you can -
>>>
>>> to give them a bigger laugh>>>>>>>
>>>>
>>>The Guys' Rules
>>>At least a guy has taken the time to write this all down
>>>
>>>>
>>>>> Finally, the guys' side of the story.
>>> (I must admit, it's pretty good.)
>>> We always hear "the rules"
>>> From the female side.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>> Now here are the rules from the male side.
>>> These are our rules!
>>> Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
>>> ON PURPOSE!
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> 1. Men are NOT mind readers.
>>>
>>> 1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
>>> You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
>>> We need it up, you need it down.
>>> You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
>>>
>>> 1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
>>> or the changing of the tides.
>>> Let it be.
>>>
>>> 1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
>>> And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
>>>
>>> 1. Crying is blackmail.
>>>
>>> 1. Ask for what you want.
>>> Let us be clear on this one:
>>> Subtle hints do not work!
>>> Strong hints do not work!
>>> Obvious hints do not work!
>>> Just say it!
>>>
>>> 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost >>> every question.
>>>
>>> 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
>>> That's what we do.
>>> Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
>>>
>>> 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.
>>> See a doctor.
>>>
>>>
>>> 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an
>>> argument.
>>> In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
>>>
>>> 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't >>> Expect
>>> us to act like soap opera guys.
>>>
>>> 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
>>> Don't ask us.
>>>
>>> 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and >>> one of the
>>> ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
>>>
>>> 1. You can either ask us to do something
>>> Or tell us how you want it done.
>>> Not both.
>>> If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
>>>
>>> 1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say >>> during commercials.
>>>
>>>
>>> 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and
>>> neither do we.
>>>
>>> 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default
>>> settings.
>>> Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a >>> fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
>>>
>>> 1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
>>> We do that.
>>>
>>> 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will >>> act like
>>> nothing's wrong.
>>> We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
>>>
>>> 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
>>> Expect an
>>> answer you don't want to hear.
>>>
>>> 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything >>> you wear is
>>> fine...Really.
>>>
>>> 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are >>> prepared to
>>> discuss such topics as sports, cars,
>>> or, sex.
>>>
>>> 1. You have enough clothes.
>>>
>>> 1. You have too many shoes.
>>>
>>> 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
>>>
>>> 1. Thank you for reading this.
>>> Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
>>>>>
>>>> But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like
>>>> camping.
>>>
>>> Pass this to as many men as you can -
>>> to give them a laugh.
>>>
>>> Pass this to as many women as you can -
>>>
>>> to give them a bigger laugh>>>>>>>
